I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
