what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Boobs are out for the taking
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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