so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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