I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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