Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
