CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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