it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
