Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
