dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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