My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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