That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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