Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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