Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
