I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
