I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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