so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize