woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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