Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
