I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
