He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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