How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
