Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
