i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think i have two assholes
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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