I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize