The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
