What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
