I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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