Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
