let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
