I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
