You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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