Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
