FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
