i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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