a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
