i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
