none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
