You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
