It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
