Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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