Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
