they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize