Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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