The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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