Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
