you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
