Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
