We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
