Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
