U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
