Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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