paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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