We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
