im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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