i would punch a child for taco bell
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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