Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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