I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
