my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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