9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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